Taz t-shirt

Taz was huge in the 1990s. He even had his own TV show which was called Taz-Mania. Here I am wearing one of his t-shirts, as I hold a homemade cake and stand next to my brother. Am I am cool 90s kid or a twat? You decide.

Actually, I don’t remember Taz’s mouth being open like that. I hope the Taz on the t-shirt wasn’t alive and trying to eat that cake.

Fat fish for president

In the same photo, my brother is wearing a t-shirt says "Fat Fish for president" and then something about a prawn.

I take offence at that t-shirt. Does it think I'm stupid? Fish can't run for president. Article II, section 1 of the US Constitution proves that by saying presidents have to be at 35 years old. Fish only live a couple of decades at best.

Splat t-shirt

The thing on this t-shirt was a part of my childhood but I can't remember his name. I think it was Splat man or something. He looks like a poo but white. An albino poo. He was the mascot of a brand of whipped cream. He also had his own comic strip in the BVC (Big Value Comic).

Dream team t-shirt

At first I thought this t-shirt was about Space Jam, but then I saw that Bugs, Daffy and the rest are wearing baseball outfits. Maybe this was the plan for a Space Jam sequel. Because that’s what’s the world needed: a Space Jam sequel. Then again, maybe it was just a t-shirt.

BBC's Big Bash t-shirt

Here I am wearing a BBC's Big Bash t-shirt, several sizes too large. Oh well. At least there was room to grow into it. That is, if I hadn't thrown it away.

Why did I throw all my childhood stuff away? I'm regretting it now. I could have sold this t-shirt for at least a million pounds on eBay. I could be rich. For fuck sake..

This t-shirt

What even is this t-shirt? At first I thought it was a display of the world's flags but on closer inspection, it's clearly not. It's like someone has puked stars, stripes, the letters 'USA' and random numbers onto a t-shirt.

And why the USA? Why not another country, like Nigeria for example? Why not North Korea? I would happily wear a North Korea t-shirt to ensure that t-shirt designs have some diversity.

And that’s face-paint in the photo by the way. I thought I would mention it in case you thought I had anaemia.

That's it for now. Goodbye.