British 90s nostalgia and shite

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I have four Planet of the Apes colouring books. They came out the same time as the Planet of the Apes movies I think. They’re basically colouring books but they also have activities in them like word searches and stuff.

The judges discuss the case

"I want to colour in a court scene," your kids tell you. "Specifically one where the judges are apes." Well, tell your kids to wait no longer, because here's the colouring page they've been looking for.

My two-year-old son and I actually had a go at colouring in this one. Here's the result:

Just so you know, putting that big cock on that monkey was my idea, not my son's. He shouldn't get any credit for that.

The men stop to rest by a grove of peach trees

What’s the most famous scene from Planet of the Apes?

If you said the Statue of Liberty scene, then kick yourself in the balls/fanny, because you’re wrong. The most famous scene is the peach tree. You know, the scene where the men stopped to eat peaches. Yes, that peach tree. That famous peach tree in Planet of the Apes that everyone always talks about. That one.

Well, now you can colour it in.

Inter-species kissing

Or how about an inter-species kissing scene? The moms at the local Christian group will like this one.

Actually I might have a go at colouring in this one.

I just noticed that the ape looks like an Oompa Loompa. She looks even more like an Oompa Loompa by if you colour her in like an Oompa Loompa, by giving her an orange face and green hair:

Color by number: cops beating up an ape

Or how about colouring in this fun scene of police brutality? It's topical.

Apes

Or colour a bunch of apes in. Just scrawl all over them with a black crayon and you should be fine.

Make some words

How many words can you make out of the letters in the words "Planets of the Apes"?

I don't know. Probably a lot of words. Probably all of the words.

Follow the dots

Can you guess what the picture is?

Hint: it’s something from Planet of the Apes. I bet you can't guess what it is.

And it's not a peach tree.

Doctor Zira mask

Here you can make a mask of Doctor Zira. I’m not sure I want to wear a creepy ape mask, even if the ape does have a medical degree. Anyway, I don't even know who Doctor Zira is. I only know Doctor Zaius and that's because of The Simpsons.

A Planet of the Apes colouring book (possibly a good one, not one of these shit ones) is available to buy at Amazon.