British 90s nostalgia and shite

Why settle for one flavour of sherbet when you can have two? I don’t know if that’s a question anyone has ever asked before or indeed if anyone gives a shit about sherbet. But here we are.

The Double Dip is a sweet I used to buy as a kid. It had two flavours of sherbet (orange and cherry) instead of one. I suppose this makes it superior to mono-sherbetic sweets like Dip Dabs.

The packet

The packet features these two kids.

Is it just me or does the girl look a bit 'special'?

I like to think that the boy is her assigned carer, and he's holding her shoulder to gently steer her attention away from eating her own shit, which she was about to do a moment before.

The Swizzelstick

Fun fact: The stick in a Double Dip is called a "swizzelstick". I'm not sure how that fact is fun but there you go. Personally, my brain has had to push out a piece of valuable information to learn that fact. Now I no longer know how to drive and it's thanks to swizzelsticks. The next time I drive, I'll be thinking of swizzelsticks as I crash into a tree.

Also, the Double Dip packet says that the word "Swizzelstick" is a registered trademark. So don't go making your own sweets called Swizzelsticks and trying to pass them off as the genuine thing. You could go to prison for that.

Stapling Double Dips together

Most of the time my brain is useless, but today I had a brainwave. What if you stapled two double dips together to make a quadruple dip? Yeah, just staple two double dips together like this:

That's the kind of genius that helped the Allies win World War II.

Sextuple dip

And there's no reason to stop there. If you staple three double dabs together, you get a sextuple dip:

"Sextuple dip" sounds a lot ruder than it actually is. Especially if you're like me and you imagine that it means three Double Dips having sex with each other.

Quattuorvigintuple dip

12 double dips together makes a quattuorvigintuple dip. Try saying that while eating a Dip Dab.

Sexagintuple dip

30 double dips makes a sexagintuple dip.

The great thing is that you can keep adding more dips, but that's also the depressing thing. It means that there's always the chance that somewhere out there, someone could have more dips than you do.

Unless...

Milluple dip

Unless you have a milluple dip, which is a dip with a thousand sherbets, which you can make at home simply by stapling 500 double dips together:

Now we're dipping with style.